Monday 15:43

I have 1 website to redesign
3 proposals to write
1 newsletter to publish

and all i do is chatting like i never chatted before.
discoveries of human nature is clearly not promising from my side.
can it be more and more scary ?
deep down my concience demand explanations : is there really friendship for me ?

Day to Day

Day to day
My sun is turning to gray
In hot days, cloudy days or dry days
My sun was bright, it was shining like supernova

A very bad day..

Sometimes when you had a bad day, you sort of wondered, what you have done to deserve such unfortunate events ? As I, struck by the fact that i was double-blown by a) my son's babysitter, who i have trusted with all my possessions, incl. the apple of my eyes - but caught stealing directly from my wallet. O', wounded trust!
b) a colleague who oftenly assisted my in admin process, whom i helped got out of her 'inner circle' of cranky middle-aged colleagues, and now after gaining all of my friends' trust, ditching me just because she wanted the mission that i was supposed to go. thank you, good thing i never thought of you as my friend!

This facts sort of dumbstruck me for the whole day. I said to one of my colleagues, this place is a really suitable place for anger management site, since we're frequently tested by unfair treatment and surprising rules.

In the midday, I didn't even want to have lunch, so I just tried to get my mind out of these annoying things, and got one task done (which I did - thank God!). and then left at 1 to pick up Z from school after his picnic at Bogor with only teachers and friends (no babysitter).

Since Z was coming back late, I stopped by at my old rented house, I figured it was soothing to see the old lady after a while, eventhough it was in the middle of the day, with mighty sun right beneath your head. And I sort of disappointed and thought to myself "My, this didn't work." She didn't make me feel better. Maybe it's because I didn't tell her what happened to me today. I was so confused and don't know how to tell the story to her.

My work station

Scuse the blurry image. taken with my new (but secondhand he he) dopod 838 (only 1.3 Mp)

Tuesday ?

Today... pretty cloudy. I got an old taxi and the driver is not really nice. And it stinks.

There is a balloon near the BRI building. WOnder what kind of balloon that is? Z always pointed out and shout "BIG BALOOON" everytime we pass one, usually near JCC Senayan.

Rabbit Rex !

I got Z two rabbit rex from someone who advertised rabbits for adoption at Tulodong House. I met her and she said there are 4 rabbits, 4 months old to adopt. I had rabbits when i was little, but all died (except for 1 which i finally sold back to the market). let's hope Z's rabbit can last longer.

so that day i went to petshop in kemang, looking for cage, but then got it in a petshop in ITC Kuningan for 250 thousand rp (not bad). and the drinking bottle for them (such as for hamsters), some wood chips to put inside the cage to absorb the pee. and some vitamins.

Z wanted the white one, named Shiro (japanese for 'white' by hubby), and he said the spotted one is Ibu's (I named him Bintik - mean spotted - d'oh!.)

You don't believe dong?

That on Friday you have to call technical support to check if they can migrate your company's website's database - then discovered that it actually a guy from school, and when you msg their YM, they don't reply

After lunch and a long walk of window shopping you have to check the manuals on how to convert ASP into PHP.

During your weekend's excitement you have to read a list of experiments (?) and syllabi for infrastructure training

Since you're a single mom (until today) you have to think about what you have to keep your toddler's busy for the weekend, while you had a) visited your sis' apartment b) went to ancol c) can't go to your parents house because you're mad at them

You have to listen to your colleagues blabbers and jutek attitude for the whooole week, and friday is the only day that you should be relieved cause tomorrow you don't have to put up with him

Antisocial

Along with some other trends occuring in the blogging community (specially in the teen blogging community), such as procastination, narcissm etc, ANTISOCIAL rose up to the surface as one of the tendencies of the cyber character you could pick up to be cool.

Yes, it was actually cool if you were a procastinator, or if you love yourself so much, that you need to post it in your blog. And recently, I felt very antisocial. For some reason, I couldn't work out some decent conversation with the people that I recently met. It was just hard for me.

In the office there were some new people coming for internship. But I was never suceeded in carrying on any topic.
Hear this :

New intern 1 : Hello... here would you like some chocolate.
Me : ooo.. what's this ? chocolate?
New intern 1 : uh huh..

10 mins later, in another corner of the office.

New intern 1 : Mbak, would you like some chocolate
Me : huh? I have already taken one..
INtern 1 : oh.. sorry...

Conclusion : I could've made some remark to make it clear that I am a unique person, not just some office person. This, I got difficulties with also. Especially in the last 2 weeks.

Sometimes I just think that I am not sensitive enough to have some empathy towards other people. Like what I realised after I worked in the capital city, that my sis said that I was ignorant before. Woah.. It gradually became clearer..

Or even worse, I wonder if I always steered the conversations into discussing myself, aduh.... am i really that self-centered?