Thursday, January 13, 2005

Keliling jakarta?

If someone asked me "hey, where have you been all day?" I'd gladly give an itinerary of our trip today which covers :
1. Klinik Pela, Kebayoran Baru : z's session, but cancelled (overslept)
2. Ace Hardware, Pasaraya Blok M : bought the nirmana lamp (Rp 196.000). Very retro, very much like a crunched up ball of tissue paper (heh) and a little plant I named "Kei". Kei has 5 branches that were braided to form a whole plant (you gotta see it). Oh and I got the sponge for Pa.
3. Panglima Polim : yes the whole road, like in and out stores! in the middle of the day. in Jakarta (and carrying a 2,5 year picky eater who refuses to eat more than the top of his strawberry frost doughnut that we bought in Pasaraya's food court). We got the "engsel" (remind me to look it up later) and 2 pairs of seahorse drawer nob.
4. Kebon Jeruk : got the "garut" stone instead of purwakarta. "garut" ini lebih item dan sama keras.. harga beda Rp 5000,- (plus gue merambah ke atas tumpukan batu untuk mencari yg permukaan sama hitam tapi dapet kotor2nya juga), mana abis itu kita ke
5. Kenari : sholat dulu baru nyari downlight yg bisa diarahkan dan bkn halogen dan fittingnya standar/biasa. turned out that only 1 store had it, but we ditched it to look in other stores, and when we came back it's already closed. Bummer. Gonna come back saturday (Noooo...)
6. Tmn BenJat (singkatan gue sendiri) dropped the stones off.......... and
7.Home

Cape... but as always I couldn't just fall asleep. I dunno why. I wish I could..

Friday, January 07, 2005

would it be the end of the world?

yesterday i started to realize what has been wrong with me. nowadays i seem to hate everyone, anyone for any reasons, and i was amazed by the frequent anger that I'm experiencing. I don't feel happy anymore. Why am l like this? I used to be a merry cheerful little girl who enjoyed life. I don't want to be complaining all the time about everything.

I feel angry at people at times too. For example my friends. Well, here's a fact : after I got married and had a child, I felt left out of the group activities. Sure, at first it was understandable, my boy was a baby and needed full attention, but it went on till now. Last weekend I text messaged 3 of my friends, asking them if they wanted to shop together (y'know, girlie things) because I was in home town (on weekdays I'd be in Jakarta), and only 1 replied. Turned out they were all together in one place and of course noone bothered to contact me.

I remember the time when I decided that I wouldn't want anything to do with them anymore. What are friends for, when they don't need you anymore? Now whenever they spend time with me, they're doing it like for some kind of charity or something. I hate that.

So, that's one example. And other groups of people (family, ex-colleagues, high school gang) were acting the same too. I'm guessing that now I'm a mother, I don't get to have fun anymore. I should stay home, cleaning, cooking, taking care of my son, and waiting for hubby to get home. Sumur, kasur, dapur.. or something like that.
And more, if I don't do it for some reason (having lunch even with themselves) they'd go "what're you doing leaving hubby and son and having fun??" so it's all fun they have and houseworks for me. Swell!

More ramblings : do you understand the long hours I spent in front of Y! messenger, for one friend to send message to me, and not trying to sell me anything? It's frustrating and helpless. It made me think about the past, "the good old days" that I used to have.

So, it's not you people that I hate. It's not 'me against the world'. I just hate my life.


Wednesday, January 05, 2005


patterns...

Tuesday, January 04, 2005


my flirty flip flops!

With a snap of my finger, you will no longer feel a pain

Sure. I'd like to hypnotise myself. I sometimes think I can. Like the time after I gave birth to my son, I told my brain to erase the memory of the pain, like this "block the thought of the pain" so everytime I think about it, my mind suddenly go blank because the absence of the fragment of memory.

And I would like to hypnotise myself whenever I feel tired after cleaning the house, doing the laundry or any other works.

Or when I feel not so merry. So I could forget why my smile turns upside down.

Maybe I could.

okay, one path to go through. no coming back.



2005 means :

1. i'm gonna be 27 this february (boy getting old sux)
2. z's gona be 3 next june
3. i'm officially 5 years from design school (and 3 years from a paying job)
4. gonna have my own house in a month
5. been a supermom for 3 years (see point 2)
6. been a net junkie for 9 years

other than that, 2005 really offers me nothing.

my mom was already fussing about how bad our horroscope is for this year.i should've said "like i care?" but of course i politely replied "just believe the good ones, not the bad", because i'm a sweet little girl.

my weekend in hometown turned to be a shopping spree (after a bad turnout of the mangga dua shopping moment with padekwa). Look at my shopping bag!!

Monday, January 03, 2005

Hello Bloggers...

Phoebe is coming to town
( read : test 1 2 3 ...)