Am I ?

Am I disturbing you?
Am I disturbing you if I say
i
love
you
or would you be
disgusted
would you turn yourself
away?

Friends and Rain

I fired my friends some weeks ago. Remember about how they dissociate me from their activities, which eventually made me feel like begging for relationship with them. And will I stay like that? Hell no! So, I fired them.

It's not that I have too many of them. In fact, I practically have noone besides my two-year-old son. But somehow, between doing the damn house works and being lonely, it balances itself. And strangely enough, I don't feel sorry about not having friends anymore. Am I making sense?

Struggling everyday made my day shorter and faster. And I don't care if that means I will die sooner. In a few days I will be 28. And I don't feel older, just wiser (yeah right!) Ha ha. At least now I've figured out a few things that I always assumed I knew. Like, why we weren't supposed to ramble and better do the job ('chop chop', my father used to say, but I didn't understand what it meant back then).

I still can't cook, but I'm pretty good at cleaning (though after cleaning I usually lay on my back and doze of till morning). But this rainy season!! It ruined my rythm, cuz everytime it rains, my leaking roof made a pool inside the house (this is no exaggaration). So i finally gave up mopping and started to put pails under the leaks.

House report : My new house is about 80% done. It's painting and the carpenter is working with my doors and windows. It's gonna be pretty! I'll post the picture as soon as it finishes (eventually...)

Aww

My throat sore. My nose felt as if I was drowned, and worse when i breath in hard.
Head doesn't ache anymore, but i feel as if i was off the ground yet.

the water is dead again. can't do the laundry cant do the dishes. so it's a waste not to lay around.

Rightful Dream

It was back years ago, I knew it was. Because what I felt was not what I feel now. We were wearing whites and white scarf on my head. And I slipped my hand under his arm, unnoticed, feeling strangely cozy. We were walking down some unnamed road, and no words were said. I bent my head down like a sheepish country girl, I remembered watching the rocks beneath my feet as we walked.

And then I don't remember anymore. All I heard was, "Ibu. Ibu. Susu."

If I ain't got you

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

[Chorus:]
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you,
Yeah

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love him
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share
With no one who truly cares for me

[Chorus:]
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby

Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby

Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah

[Outro:]
If I ain't got you with me baby
So nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

back in jakarta

phew. capek. ngantuk. rumah berantakan.
sebodo
bodo
gue mau bobo